Two other women, also breast cancer survivors, said their husbands left them after they were diagnosed. Both had to have mastectomies (in case anyone doesn’t know, this is the surgical operation to remove one or both breasts).
The first woman said her husband told her that he would rather see her dead than see her lose her breasts. The second woman had her operation and waited all day to be picked up by her husband, who never arrived. By nightfall, one of the nurses offered to give her a ride, and she came home to find the house empty.
Obviously, these are extreme cases of a man’s reaction to his wife’s breast cancer, but this is what I see when I see the “I ♥ Boobies” bracelets. I see love of the body parts, not the person being treated—not the patient, not the victim, not the survivor.
(Source: presidentjonesco, via cherrybaum)
I learned this the hard way and it’s a lesson I’m gonna carry with me for life. Never doubt someone’s inner strength.
(Unless that person’s a twat, then fuck ‘em.)
(Look, I couldn’t stay serious for the whole post, OK?)
(Source: skyfallingup, via apiphile)
Thoughts on Yesterday’s Reblog About Why All Lingerie Companies Can’t Make All Sizes
On the small bust part of the spectrum, bra sizes start around 28A / 32AAA.
On the full bust part of the spectrum, bra sizes end around 40L.
And on the plus size part of the spectrum, bra sizes end around 58J.
Now, I haven’t sat down and added up how many bra sizes total that equals, but there’s a lot of cup sizes and a lot of band sizes that come between 28A and 58J.
Yesterday’s reblog on why indie brands aren’t able to make all the sizes that are out there touched a few nerves, and I understand that. Sizing has always been a controversial issue within the lingerie industry, and it’s become even moreso lately. I understand getting angry when it seems like you’re being ignored. And, I hope I don’t come across as patronizing, but I agree that feeling upset is a valid reaction.
However, reducing the conversation on why indie brands can’t make every size to an overly simple explanation like “They hate these sizes” is, well, overly simple.
It ignores all the other factors that go into a running a lingerie business (and there are many), and makes it all about a company’s will and desire.
While there probably are at least a few brands who don’t make larger (or smaller, for that matter) sizes because they just don’t like them, I’m equally certain there are even more lingerie brands who would like to make those sizes but can’t because of the realities of their production costs. Bras are complicated. And expensive. And there are plenty of companies who’ve “crunched the numbers,” and found out that, at least for right now, they literally cannot.
While it’s easy for people on the outside to offhandedly say, “Well, just make more sizes,” when a company expands their size range, they’re not just making 1 or 2 new bras. They’re growing their company at every stage: from the designers they hire, to the patterns they make, to the fabric they purchase, to the amount of factory time they reserve, to the number of pieces they order, to the amount of import tax they pay, to the number of sales reps they bring on, to the number of the boutiques they market to, to (perhaps most importantly) the amount of risk they take on if things don’t sell. Taken together, that means growing a company by 30% or 40% or 50% (or more!), and that means a lot of money….before you’ve even sold a single new size.
(And that’s not even getting into the other things indie brands often have to consider, like ethical manufacturing - which is harder to find and costs more - , and competitive pricing with companies who are measuring their units in the millions instead of the dozens. See: Economies of Scale).
It’s not about making customers who are larger or smaller feel bad and I’m pretty sure it’s not about hating their money. What it is about then, for many indie lingerie brands, is figuring out how you can make bras (a fairly low margin item, as clothing goes) for as many people as possible, but still stay in business.
The same market forces which unfortunately keep some of your favorite brands in the B-D range also keep Curvy Kate successful in the D+ range and Lula Lu successful in the A and below range.
Specialization isn’t an enemy of the lingerie industry. It’s the very thing which allows for there to more choices from more brands for more consumers.
This was a thing I used to be really angry about before I actually went into business. Then I learned what went into things, and, well, that changed a lot.
Also - oh man the number of specialty places that have come up in the past 4ish years has been great and is, in my mind, a bit of a game changer.
You can be body-positive and still have preferences.
You can be a feminist and still love men.
You can be sex-positive without being interested in casual sex.
People seem to forget that the core principle of all of these is as simple as not being an asshole.
(Source: rambleroar, via misskatehate)
This was not an exaggeration. The government ignored the issue of HIV/AIDS for years before anything was done. Gay and Queer communities had to form their own clinics because no government agencies cared for them. Back then, being diagnosed was equivalent to a death sentence or extreme debt and poor quality of life/a significantly shortened lifespan.
Things got so desperate that people literally had “Die-Ins”— in contemporary usage this refers to masses of people simulating death in order to protest something (like the War in Iraq). In this case, however, fatally sick people would literally lie down in public places and protest with what little energy they had left until they died. There is some footage of a church Die-In in the documentary After Stonewall. The middle image here of that person’s jacket is not an extreme political statement; it’s what people had to do because they had no other options.
This is a thing we need to remember. We need to remember that this is still a real thing and the kind of activism people used to do.
(via fyeahqueervintage)
I am a Teenage Feminist: Yes, I'm a Feminist. No, I'm not Perfect →
It seems like every time I get into a debate with a white dude, they have some expectation that I have to be a perfect feminist in order to be a feminist. If I’m not perfect, they automatically assume that I am hypocrite.
This is so ridiculous and it pisses me off to no end.
I’m not talking about being racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. I’m talking about being a fan of Glee or like Victoria Secret or wearing make-up or something like that.
White dudes like to use those things against me as “proof” that I’m a hypocrite and thus everything I say is invalid.
Like, I am a multifaceted person. I can like shit I know is fucked up, and I can do fucked up shit, and I can make mistakes, and I can still be a feminist.
I’m not a perfect person and I live in a patriarchy, I am going to buy into it from time to time. That doesn’t mean what I have to say isn’t valid.
emphasis mine.
feminism isn’t some monolithic 10 commandments rule book. feminists disagree with each other about things and change their minds about things and make mistakes and grow and learn. it’s not like you’re gonna find any two feminists that think EXACTLY the same. i mean damn, do we really have to explain to people that we are multi-faceted people with layer upon layer of other moral convictions?
feminism is a lens through which we can analyze the world we live in and guide our decisions by, but that doesn’t necessarily mean our interpretations of the world are the same. and it doesn’t necessarily mean that we will ALWAYS sacrifice the benefits of social conformity in a patriarchal society for our principles. bottom line: the label doesn’t define the person, the person defines the label.
Yes, this commentary because the majority of arguments I get in with other feminists are because we disagree on some aspect of feminism, and the other person thinks I am wrong/a bad feminist because of it. THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO FEMINIST. There are radical feminists, liberal feminists, anarchist feminists, enviro-feminists, Muslim feminists, womenists, etc. We don’t all agree! And we don’t all have to agree! It’s okay that feminism isn’t monolithic, it’s one of the things that makes us great.
(via lipstick-feminists)
Nadia Boulanger, Mademoiselle Nadia Boulanger, Bruno Monsaingeon
(via autumninganymede)
(via argleblargle)
